SHOOT ME, BABY!

I wrote this in the recent past and forgot about
it. I got a good laugh when I got to the end of it.

Machine Gun





the house grows darker just like my thoughts for you
I don’t want you to mean a thing to me
I don’t want to feel any life for you
I could die and I doubt very seriously if you would even notice
I would like to take you and your so-called friends and grind you into a fine powder
you all suck
no wonder you’re all so fucked up
I think truly, I could mow you down with a machine gun
none of you are worth it though
lying, uncaring whores
one way or another you sell yourself to get what you want
screw all those who really give a shit about you
continue to stay with the abusive, drunk, worthless pieces of shit
the fire burns me alive and I want it to spread and consume you
I want you to burn with me
you haven’t had it bad you just let it continue because you’re too much of a dumbass to
do anything about it
fuck you

HOW TRUE

DEEP THOUGHT OF THE DAY

Some people are like slinkies,

They don't really have a purpose,

But they still bring a smile to your face

When you push them down the stairs!

ONCE AGAIN

ONCE AGAIN

goodbye
I just keep on dying
it’s not like I’m really tryin
but too much of you has taken away

the ending
it feels just like the beginning
before and after depending
on how pretty you feel today

silence
how quickly it can turn to violence
in the face of your defiance
hate these silly games

whatever
just forget about forever
now turns into never
only me left to blame

disgust
in me you never trust
overflow about to bust
dripping wet with sin

words
just a bunch of useless words
all I have is words
without you once again

THE INFECTION

THE INFECTION

here I sit without you again
somewhere else but it’s not with me
never is never was never will
I’m always number 2 or 3

treated like shit but you like being smothered in it
feeling like shit but to me it’s all relative
walking in shit every step I take
looking like shit at least it’s not fake

will the phone ever ring
will you ever come see me
will my heart bleed
the closer you come to me

I really didn’t think I wanted to see you again
I really hoped I wouldn’t see you again
I want to hold you as I want to let you go
I can’t hold you and you won’t let me go

treated like shit but you like being smothered in it
feeling like shit but to me it’s all relative
walking in shit every step I take
looking like shit at least it’s not fake

will my sanity stay sane
as you whisper my name
will you infect me
like you did once before

will the phone ever ring
will you ever come see me
will my heart bleed
the closer you come to me
will my sanity stay sane
as you whisper my name
will you infect me
like you did once before

THE MILLIONTH TIME

THE MILLIONTH TIME

writing out little bits of chaos
alone in the dark minus the light
I sit here for the millionth time
I sit here like I always do

nothing heard is a sweet sound
you just keep playing lost & found
everything changes every damn day
I try so hard but can’t keep you away

you’re never here when I need you the most
someday a memory a ghost
I’m always here when you’re at your worst
that’s when I know I’m never first

there’ll be a time when you laugh me off
I’ll be the flame when you piss me off
it’ll be a lie when you pull me close
you can’t deny who you want the most

my mind betrays and I think of you
wounds I’ve sustained because of you
I must like the pain you put me through
cut up and scarred from your battle wounds

what’s love to you some strange attraction
crushing guys like me that’s your satisfaction
stabbed through my heart how do you do it
it’s such an art to you nothing to it

THE STAND

THE STAND

no one can save you now
you’ve thrown it all away
you don’t even care you’re like everyone else
pop your ego trip with an ice pick

too hot for words but I say fuck it
too much for you but you know you want it
I scare you I thrill you it’s all a head trip
if you care for me kill me don’t let your aim slip

cut loose the noose you hang on me
I hang daily but I know you never see
wipe the smile from your face the light from your eyes
I never was good at saying goodbyes

slit your throat slit my wrists slit the sky
blood falls in buckets blood is waist high
my blood is blue from ol’ Mr. Xan
my blood is drained when you hold my hand

there’s no time to waste anymore
I need to be free from the edge of death’s door
I’m leaving I’m tired of falling behind
I didn’t want it I didn’t want it I didn’t want it

I’m gone so gone you’ll never know where
this place is no home there’s no place any where
it’s over I need to evolve with the madness
it’s over like sweet laughter to sadness

FUNDAMENTALLY LOATHSOME

A fantastic song from the album, "Mechanical Animals." Oh, it's by Marilyn Manson.


FUNDAMENTALLY LOATHSOME

I want to wake up in your white, white sun
I want to wake up in your world with no pain
But I'll just suffer in a hope to die someday
While you are numb all of the way

When I hate it
I know I can feel
butwhen you love it
you know it's not real
No

I am resigned to this wicked fucking world
On its way to hell
The living are dead and
I hope to join them too
I know what to do and I do it well...

When I hate it
I know I can feel but
When you love it
you know it's not real
No

Shoot myself to love you
If I loved myself I would shoot you

WHAT ELSE CAN BE SAID?

THE HEAD & THE HEART



I wonder why we became so close
some things I’ll never understand
maybe it’s for the best
but I’ll never understand the choices you make

I wonder if us getting that close
is the reason we’re this close
how close is this close
there’s always somebody between us

can’t commit and don’t think you will
I don’t think it will be me
I don’t think I stand a chance
you can’t cut the hold on you

how can you turn away from what you want
I know what you say that others don’t
I’ve lost you once before
there’s no way I could go through it twice

time ticks on minutes lost without you
I know what keeps you from me
and I’m helpless to stop it
and I wonder if you even care

this is what it’s like without you
lost and confused alone yet again
the head wants to cut loose
the heart wants to hang around

KILL ME, PLEASE

THE ASSASSINATION

are you prepared to see me die
my death my blood covers your hands
no weapon caused the termination
your lack of action caused my assassination

no hurt was supposed to come to me
yet somehow I found the final solution
the only way out death by suicide
I had a nice supply of pills I had gathered for several months

consequences of betrayal I could not think of a more painful way
to hurt you than by my taking myself out of the equation
it’s all on you can you live with the guilt
I want to murder you with guilt

I want to become a scar in your mind
I want to haunt your ever thought
I want to always be just one step behind you
I’m always breathing down your neck

what means more to you
settling for what you’ve got
or getting what you really want
this is why I’m dead I lost

I love the cold ground
the worms tell me stories of all those they’ve devoured
I ask them to make quit work of me
the less of me left here to suffer the better

yet now you seem to miss me
you lost the only true thing in your life
you’re just like all the rest
what a surprise I’m not surprised I’m dead

down in the hole maggots remind me of you
eggs lain by files carriers of sickness
like the one you injected into me
I’m better off dead

I don’t have to worry about this anymore
I hope I haunt you I hope there is no rest
I’m in your soul I want to consume you
and hope you end up dead like me

FIGMENTS

FIGMENTS


I hate myself so much
but I hate you that much more
nothing you say makes it any better
most of the time you say nothing

I want to just fucking slip away
I want to crawl on my belly like you
snakes slither when they lie
you lie as you crawl up to me

it’s never for me
always about you
when’s then last time you actually asked me how I was
you never ask you never cared

I don’t want to be with you
I don’t want anyone with you
I don’t want anyone with me
you never care who’s with you

bright flash the room’s exploding
you shatter inside my head
my heart breaks from all the flying glass
I bleed gasoline
ignite me and burn with me
I feel how little you care for me
I know how little you are to me
I could never trust you
I will never trust you
I could never hurt you
I wish that I could hate you

so much wasted time in this world
blown to pieces, this world
my sinful imperfect little world
the Death Star is tracking me

so how did you manage
how did you pull it off
how many lies did you tell
how many did you hurt
how many will you hurt
how many will wish they were dead
like me
guess who killed me?

PASSIVE

This song fits my life at times. Lots of the time actually. Anyway...




PASSIVE - A PERFECT CIRCLE

Dead as dead can be
My doctor tells me
But I just can't believe him
Never the optimistic one
I'm sure of your ability
To become my perfect enemy

Wake up and face me
Don't play dead 'cause maybe
Someday I will walk away and say
You disappoint me
Maybe you're better off this way

Leaning over you here
Cold and catatonic
I catch a brief reflection
Of what you could and might have been
It's your aim and your ability
To become my perfect enemy

Wake up
(Why can’t you?)
And face me
(Come on now)
Don't play dead
(Don’t play dead)
'Cause maybe
(Because maybe)
Someday
(Someday)
I’ll walk away and say
You disappoint me
Maybe you're better off this way

Maybe you're better off this way (×3)
You're better off this (×2)
Maybe you're better off...

Wake up
(Why can't you?)
And face me
(Come on now)
Don't play dead
(Don’t play dead)
'Cause maybe
(Because maybe)
Someday
(Someday)
I’ll walk away and say
You fucking disappoint me
Maybe you're better off this way!

Go ahead and play dead
(GO!)
I know that you can hear this
(GO!)
Go ahead and play dead
(GO!)

Why can't you turn and face me?
(WAKE UP!)
Why can't you turn and face me?
(WAKE UP!)
Why can't you turn and face me?
(WAKE UP!)
Why can't you turn against me?
(GO!)
You fucking disappoint me

Passive-aggressive bullshit... (×12)

TENDER MOMENTS IN LITERATURE

Well, well, well, now we know why daddy ran off with the whore. Mommy must be a republican because she licks Bush. If that wasn't Little Jimmy's mommy and he was about 20 years older, we'd have the makings to a damn fine three-way skin flick.

GREAT MOMENTS IN LITERATURE

Ahhh, memories....I remember Grandma reading this to me. She said it was the best way to explain what happened to Mommy and Daddy. Haven't seen Daddy since I was four, he works in a corn factory in Mexico. Mommy does the 2:15 am show down in Taterknob. It's a hoot, everybody goes home with a smile on their face and a strut in their stride.

LITERARY CORNER

Now just where in the hell was this when I was growing up? I can see it now. Paddington gets tanked, buys a whore, contracts a venereal disease, goes to the clinic, gets checked out, then decides to write a book about the experience.

SCREAM FOR ME, OWENSBORO!!!

What can I say, I've been a fan of Iron Maiden for 23 years now. This past Tuesday they put out yet another album and, of course, I had to buy it. So far, after hearing it in it's entirety two times, I think it's a damn good album. Their last release, Dance of Death, just really didn't do much for me. There was a song or two that wasn't bad but I thought that over all, it pretty much sucked. So I'm really glad this one didn't let me down.

I've followed this band for a long time and while they'll never release anything like Piece of Mind(1983) again, the boys can still write some cool shit. I'm really pleased with this album. After their last album, I was kind of apprehensive about buying this new one. I'm really surprised at how much I like it. I would go through track by track but I can save time and say that I actually like all ten songs. Very different stuff from the guys this time. Two thumbs up! If you're into Iron Maiden at all, I suggest picking it up. Thank you, now back to your regularly scheduled program.

GOTCHA!!!

A picture so nice, I'll use it twice. Come on, admit it! You know you looked!!

GUESS WHO?

Time to Kill



to kill you
to take you out
never to be a burden to me again
I would love to murder your memory
wash you out like a stain
you are a tumor in my brain I wish I could surgically remove
you infect me with a sickness
you disgust me
I disgust myself when I think of the time I’ve wasted on you
I want to be whole again and retrieve the pieces of me that you destroyed
you deserve whatever you get
I used to feel pity now all I feel is shitty
I don’t hate you but I hate myself for not hating you
I want to get as far from you as possible
and that still would not be far enough
the daily routine of heartbreak and rejection are making me feel older than I deserve
at least I know now I don’t deserve you
no
scratch that
you don’t deserve me

TELL IT LIKE IT IS...AS THEY SAY

Normally, I think Andy Rooney is a piece of shit but these hit home with me. Preach it brother....


Andy Rooney said on "60 Minutes" a few weeks back:

I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers. The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have things like the UnitedCaucasianCollege Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what happens...Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, that is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts! ARE YOU LISTENING MARTHA BURKE?

I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is an opinion.

I have the right "NOT" to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off.

When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the population is black, that is not racial profiling, it is the Law of Probability.

I believe that if you are selling me a milkshake, a pack of cigarettes, a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of fact, if you want to be an American citizen, you should have to speak English!My father and grandfather didn't die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours.

I think the police should have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word "freeze" or "stop" in English, see the above lines.

I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or any other business.

We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives in wars to defend their freedoms, so that decades later they could come over here and tell us our constitution is a living document; and open to their interpretations.

I don't hate the rich I don't pity the poor.

I know pro wrestling is fake, but so are movies and television. That doesn't stop you from watching them.

I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating system that's better, and put your name on the building.

It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take a parent to stand up to the kid; and smack their little behinds when necessary, and say "NO!"

I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement. And, please, stay home until that new lip ring heals. I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth as you serve me French fries!

I am sick of "Political Correctness." I know a lot of black people, and not a single one of them was born in Africa ; so how can they be "African-Americans"? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don't go around saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather was from Europe I am proud to be from America and nowhere else.

And if you don't like my point of view, tough...I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG, OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA , AND TO THE REPUBLIC, FOR WHICH IT STANDS, ONE NATION UNDER GOD, INDIVISIBLE, WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL!

It is said that 86% of Americans believe in God. Therefore I have a very hard time understanding why there is such a problem in having "In God We Trust" on our money and having "God" in the Pledge of Allegiance. Why don't we just tell the 14% to Shut Up and BE QUIET!!!

YOU THINK IT'S HOT NOW....

This just kinda says it all.

A JOKE

How do you change a fox into an elephant?








Marry her.

SOMETHING TO CHEW ON

Eating Me Alive 7/14/06

secrets I keep inside
I’ll never tell the whole truth
I would love to bring down the curtain on you
expose your sin and perversion

so hard to be your friend
when you won’t return the feeling
standing on your own is tough
without some truth to hold you up

I hate you repeated back to you
I hate you more I bet it’s true
Choke you with a shoestring
Your pain makes want to sing

a sweet melody of insanity
stalking you my precious fantasy
watching you from a short distance
police protection at your insistence

the grass is so green from the other side
you can run with nowhere to hide
so little to say actions scream louder
bombs made with no gun powder

blow away all the emotion
so tired of just going through the motions
I’m still so close but you never see me
I hold you close but you never feel me

sick of this sick of that
sick inside it’s a fact
lock the door hold you captive
strip for me I’m such a bastard

LEMON CHICKEN ANYONE?

My-T-Tasty!!

LADDER GOLF?!? WTF?!?

http://www.laddergolf.com/

I played this tonight at my mom's house. It was actually pretty cool. I sucked at it and lost two of three games but I do believe I'd play it again.

And yes...shipping is free.

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY

Sure it's a Confederate flag but it's part of this nations history.

WORDS FOR TURDS

Just a little bit of me letting go.
(that was your parental warning)



Delayed Spontaneous Combustion


time crumbles beneath me
I’m the same as I’ve always been
no one here but us assholes
so why do you continue to hang when you have no interest

I hang every day
the rope is invisible
but I suffocate daily as I see you

rage and compassion
rolled up in a tight ball
like the one at the pit of my stomach
when I think of you with anyone else
I’m so bitter I should spit venom
unholy rotten dark and deep
I want it to be different but
it doesn’t seem to be what I seek

so pack up your suitcase and head for the high ground
I’m running on adrenalin and gaining speed
linked to murder hell hounds a comin’
watch what you eat don’t shit where you speak

WHAT A GREAT DAY IT WAS

18 years ago today, Bone and I took a trip to Cincinnati, Ohio to see Iron Maiden. It was a fantastic show, my second of the three times that I've seen them.


UP THE IRONS!!!

MAIDEN RULE!!!!!

FUN FUN FUN

Another day working for a tyrannical piece of shit makes me say...AAHHH YESSSS!!!

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"If you don't know what you're doing,then quit fucking it up worse for the one who has to come clean up your fuck up."

LO, THE STORM APPROACHETH!!

Brother Bone and I took a small trip to Evansville yesterday. These are some of the shots I took of the storm as it rolled in.

ST ANGER ST LOUIS ST BERNARD

Friends of mine (you know who), myself included, pretty much gave up on Metallica once the Black album came out. I know that 9 out of 10 people go ape shit over the Black album,but not me. While there was a song or two that wasn't bad, I thought they were a bunch of sell out shits. I never bought the Black album and I never will.

Over the next several years Metallica released a bunch of less than stellar albums. Once again each record had a song or two that was cool, but I just didn't know what to think. I more or less said, "Fuck Metallica." You must understand, there was a time in my life (circa '84-'89) were Metallica just kicked my fucking ass. They were up there with Iron Maiden and if you know me, you know that's saying something. I even got to meet them in Louisville in 1989 on the ...And Justice For All tour. Lars was a complete prick but the rest of the guys were cool as shit. Anyway, so for me to say, "fuck 'em," that even shocked me. Although there were some cool things they released (Garage, Inc.), I, for the most part spent the 90's without Metallica

Which brings me to my point, when St. Anger was released in 2003, I decided to buy it after seeing the video. I liked the song. After spending three years now listening to it, I believe this is the record that should have came after Justice. It is a fantastic record, VERY RAW. That's what makes it unique, they didn't polish the sound and just went with it. I hear MANY people say they think St. Anger sucks and they shit when I say the same about the Black album and I praise St. Anger. To each his own, this is true but I've been listening St. Anger this week and decided to give it some credit. No, I'm not jumping on Metallica's bandfloat but I am ashamed to say that if I found a cheap copy of Load, I would probably buy it. *gasp* I also am very curious to hear their next album because it is being produced by Rick Rubin. Rick Rubin has produced some of the best records this planet has ever seen. I really want to hear it.

"Not only do I not know the answer,
I don't even know what the question is."

from "My World" from St. Anger

MORE PICS OF THE SKY

Just more shots of the sky. Enjoy if you must. :)

MADNESS!!!

Anyone who knows me, knows I'm a big Star Wars freak/geek. Let's just say, I had a good morning at Walmart.

Yay for me!!

THE SKIES OF OWENSBORING

I got some pictures of the clouds around here today. I happened upon a rainbow this afternoon after the storm rolled through. Enjoy!

TO SUM UP THE DAY.....

It just fits so well for today. Anyone there with me?

ALL COLORS TURN TO GRAY

All Colors Turn to Gray

God I’m so fucked up and I don’t know what to do
I could put my trust in you but I don’t know
how long my heart can stay true
There’s not one thing in this world for me
I don’t deserve it anyway I’m better off they say
Just words and thoughts I type to you
and you still don’t get it do you

I’m melting down behind my eyes
all the colors turn to gray
So sad to hear just how I died
but I’m still dieing more & more each day
so don’t pull me too close to you
just keep me at arms length
Do I mean a shit to you
it’s what you say not just what I think

Wasted time is drifting by me now
I’m too stoned to think about it so
pop a blue and hit the green
If I could just talk to you
how much could I really say
It wouldn’t matter anyway nothing would change
Never get to see you but it must be a good thing
I wish I knew the truth of why you keep your distance

There’s this big hole in my heart and I fill it with toys
and books
and cds
and dvds
Geek boy, hiding behind locked doors
keeping out the world, if misery loves company where did I get all this hate

GREEN SMILEY NOTHING

Green Smiley Nothing



I’m so ready to go to the next big thing
don’t really care where
I’m just tired of being around
hanging from invisible ropes
someone please cut the rope
let me fall let me crash
I’m already broken you step on the pieces

green bottles big deal
smiley face blue pills
nothing then tell me how
be a friend nothing now
take a heart so corrupt
give it back bust it up

still hold you closer than you’ll ever feel
can’t hurt you it’s only me I kill
voodoo doll pins and needles
stick them deep so you can feel me

weekends are like dead ends
the less you do the more you die
dig the hole buy the box
dig it deep fill it with rocks
would you cry would you visit
I lie alone like when I was living

I’m tired of love sick of hate
tired of this joke that I call a life
always hear the same old line
just have faith not your time

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISTY!!!!!

I just wanted to wish my beautiful brunette friend a very Happy Birthday today. I hope it's a great one, you deserve it!! :)

MORE OF MY WORK BUDDIES

Just some more pics of some of my friends from WaxWorks. In case no one has noticed, I'm quite infatuated with the beautiful brunette. :)

Seriously though, she, along with all these other wonderful folks help make a shithole of a job a little bit better. Hugs and kisses all around again, you guys are the biz-omb!

FRIENDS FROM WORK

Just a few pictures of some of the people that make my job worth being at. Big hugs and smooches to you all. :D~

LOOKS CAN BE DECEIVING

Sure, she looks all sweet and innocent but she's meaner than a snake. This is my cat Pooh. Pooh is a synonym for shit and that's what she is, a little shit. Hench the name Pooh. She has one of the most distinct personalities in a cat that I have ever seen.

THE FONZ

Thought for the day...

Was the Fonz really that cool or was it all just a bunch of bullshit?